Here Is Where the Heart Is
You are exactly where you're supposed to be. Everything you've experienced up until this very minute was supposed to happen that way. It all led you to "here".
Have you every felt the sensation of "I gotta get out of here!"? Sometimes the "here" is a very unsafe place like in Forest Gump when little Jenny prays "dear God make me a bird so I can fly far, far far away from here", She needed to get the eff out of there for sure. But if you've seen Forest Gump you know the story, jennys "here" never really got away from her. She struggled with her "here" for a long time, even to the point of almost ending her life. We've all been there, "here" I mean.
Recently I found myself saying I just gotta get out of here! Just for a few days, to think, to connect to myself, to recharge, reboot, reset. I felt this desire to run away, like if I physically leave the situation, I may find clarity. But The thing I found out was that the situation I wanted a break from wasn't a physical place, it was an emotional one.
The demands of me that I put on myself, the limitations I put on myself and my growth. I was convinced that I may have a better chance at getting clarity if I get away from the physical place I reside in/work in... I was putting a place with my name. But what I realized and when I became quiet and asked myself, "where do we want to go?" My response was "here". I wanted to stay in my "here" and vacate from all the noise around me. My "HERE" wanted me to acknowledge it so badly and fall in love with it. Fall in love with my current here. spend some "no expectation" time with it. Much like pain, it doesn't go away until you face it. you can burry it, you pile other busy things on top of it but it will not go away until you sit with it. And again much like pain, the moment I acknowledge that my "get away" was to stay here and sit with my "Here" and let it tell me the things it wanted to tell me the peace and the clarity I was searching for almost instantly made itself known. The moment I surrendered to fall into the "Here", she swiftly came to carry me through it offering gifts of rest, ease, quiet and even coffee.
Just the gesture of trying to get away from the noise long enough to hear myself and see myself for a hot minute and ask ME what I needed and what I wanted was all I needed. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the good counsel of my valuable friend's advice and social media can be a great learning tool but all these things can also crowd what wants to come through your own essence. I knew this was what was happening to me. I needed to tell myself some things that weren't coming through so easily because of old blocks and some old friends and old social media remedies were actually blocking the clarity that wanted to come in.
Next time you have the urge to get the fuck out of dodge. Say thanks for the urge, but I'm gonna sit here until you tell me where I really need to be.